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10 July 2009 @ 04:50 am

Hello everyone!


Today’s Friday, which means I get to talk to you about manners. Now, manners have always been something dear to the heart of lifestyle lolitas. Instead of being a normal teenage girl, giggling over every swearword like it makes us special, we’ve chosen to grow up and realize there is nothing inherently wrong with politeness. This point of view is something that has caused us much ridicule, yet is actually very practical. Yes, swearing every three seconds and using the f-bomb like a comma may earn you internet cool points, but just try finding a respectable job when you talk to everyone like that. Not so easy, is it?


Life becomes easier when you’re polite. People treat you better as a whole when you’re polite to them. When people mistreat you, being calm and polite means that the authorities will favor you over the other person. There is nothing more biting to your enemies than your sweet smile and polite hello, nothing more infuriating to your backstabbing best friend than to be treated nicely. People, online and offline, want to get a rise out of you in any given argument. By politely brushing people off, making an excuse to leave and leaving after a small bow or simply not rising to their bait, you become the better person.


One of the hardest things about being a lifestyle lolita is the sneering we endure. We keep to ourselves, don’t bother anyone and wear pretty dresses. Obviously, this makes us a threat to all lolitas everywhere, as we are highly dangerous people. (/sarcasm) Unfortunately, many girls act as if there is something wrong with being polite, drinking tea and wearing the same fashion they do. We don’t bother anyone. I’ve never seen anyone say lolitas have to be lifestyle, or say that lolitas have to be polite. There has never been, to my knowledge, any lifestyle lolita who ran around screaming that everyone adhere to all the standards and practices she did. Most of us wish more people were polite and leave it at that.


Some new girls may have gotten the impression all lolitas are nice. They ran around saying that. That is still no reason to hold it against lifestyle lolitas in general. Every group since time began has had an uninformed member or two and a loudmouth member or two (or three, or four). This does not make picking on that entire group alright. That doesn’t even make it okay to pick on the girls who mistakenly thought this. They’re just new. Not everyone has researching and comprehensive reading skills right off the bat. Have you never made a mistake? No? Then they get to make some, too.


Politeness is a personal choice. It is a right we all have and can freely choose to exercise. When you and I and everyone else decides to do the polite thing instead of the petty thing, the world becomes a better place. When we accept and teach the newbie instead of laughing at them, they get better. When we hold the door for someone whose arms are full, they get through the day a little easier. When we calmly and politely explain we’re not in a costume, but in a specific fashion, the ignorance against lolitas fades a little. No one is forcing you to do these things. You can laugh at the newbie, slam the door in the person’s face and slap the questioner. But what have you accomplished? With politeness you can say you did the right thing. With impoliteness you can only shrug and say ‘I did it, um, because I did’.


To be polite isn’t about repressing your emotions, as many seem to think. It’s about not being childish and having self control. The childish lolita screams ‘F*** you!’ at someone who says ‘nice costume’ to her. The lady or princess lolita says ‘thank you’ with a sweet smile. One rule on the Evil Overlord List says, ‘I shall wear bright colors, and thus throw my enemies into confusion’. Couple this with a smile and you become untouchable. No one can embarrass you when you have the self control to refrain from arguing. No one can hurt you when you politely acknowledge their criticism as valid and ignore their insults. No one can make you look bad when you take the high ground.


Taking the high ground is a mark of a strong character. Any gossipy girl can sneer snide remarks at someone she doesn’t like. It takes a woman to greet the person she dislikes with calm politeness. But this doesn’t even cover what will happen with those you don’t know. The strangers on the street smile at the lifestyle lolita, the young girl dressed beautifully who smiles and says hello. The store clerks and cashiers are relieved not to be dealing with another rage-a-holic customer. Old ladies and old men compliment the well mannered and well dressed. Your family and friends will be happy with the positive and polite outlook you have on life. A better character means a better you, which means one less crude person in the world. People react well to that because deep down, we all want to be treated right.


Why be polite? A better question would be, why not? An impolite person annoys and stresses out everyone they come into contact with. An impolite person gets into petty fights and is surrounded by drama. An impolite person is not a person, just a child. The polite receive kindness and goodwill for their actions. The impolite get exactly what they sent out – negativity. The choice is still yours, of course. You can be a cruel, cold, unlikable monster if you so desire. No one can force you to be a good person.


But it sure does make life easier.
09 July 2009 @ 08:58 am

Greetings, everyone!


Today is Thursday, which is the day I recommend, review or decry a movie, book or manga that I feel is relevant to lifestyle lolitas. Now, I’m sure as time goes on I’ll branch out in this area and review more things, but at present some things are obviously lolita and need to get more recognition. I speak, this week, of Marie Antoinette, the movie.


Marie Antoinette is a love her or hate her character, and was a love her or hate her kind of person. Because of her, fashion in France was as elaborate as it was, and she certainly indulged in a jaw droppingly expensive wardrobe. While many may view this as shallow, the truth is she wasn’t much different from those around her in the French court. The difference between them and her was that she, for better or worse, wound up as a queen.


The movie is, from a historical point of view, to be applauded. The French court and all the procedures, rules and stipulations they have all really existed. Unfortunately this includes the constantly-being-watched aspect, which Marie reacts to about as well as you’d think. The fact remains that this movie shows the negative aspects of being royalty as well as the positive, portraying the main character not as good and innocent or evil and wicked, simply as a flawed and somewhat vain human being whose heart is probably in the right place.


The backgrounds and sets are gorgeous and, as far as I could tell, very accurate, as are the elaborate outfits. As a lolita and a history nut, I must confess I drooled over the outfits many, many times. The hairdos featured were pretty much dead on for the time, but may invoke more of a laugh than a gasp of admiration. (After this, the big hair hime-gyaru have will look small and modest by comparison.) Either way, you’ll find it hard to stop staring at virtually everyone on screen.


It must be noted that the movie does an excellent job of creating sympathy for Marie Antoinette. The cultural differences once she moves to France are a source of awkwardness she must overcome, her arranged marriage doesn’t click magically into place and she is not beloved to the court the second she enters into their world. In other words, the movie doesn’t tell the sparkles and sugar version of her life, but the reality of it, from beginning to end. The story feels like a slice of history, not a Disneyification tale, and in the end we see not an almighty queen but a girl torn from one world, thrust into another and then falling from grace. All the while, we’re not spoonfed into rooting for her or anyone else, just told their tale.


The fashion, the backgrounds and the historical accuracy are fantastic. The story is true and well done and the characters are well rounded people. While not a movie with a fairytale ending, it is certainly worth a look for anyone who would like to see the insider story behind the fashion of France we lolitas so admire.
08 July 2009 @ 01:40 pm

Hello, everyone!


Today is Wednesday, which means it’s time for a recipe. I’ve always thought one of the best things about being lifestyle lolita is that you can appreciate sweets and sweet things. Nowadays, of course, everyone eats junk foods of all kinds, but before sweets were anything from good fruit to a simple ice cream float. It’s important, I think, to learn how to make desserts, treats and snacks that are unique and thoughtful instead of prepackaged. For one thing, prepackaged, high-fat content food is unhealthy. For another, there’s just nothing interesting about a Twinkie or a bag of chips.


To help make food time fun again, here’s a recipe for butterscotch chip cookies. These are delicious any time of year, go great with milk and are a nice option for those of you who, like my brother, are allergic to chocolate.


1 cup flour

¼ cup sugar/Splenda

¼ cup vanilla extract

¼ cup melted butter/I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Butter (Spray) poured out

½ cup milk (or more depending on how thick you want the cookies)

As many butterscotch chips as you want. These can be found in half pound and one pound bags at Safeway and Wal-Mart in the USA. (I don’t know about the availability in other countries.)


First take the flour and sugar/Splenda, mixing those together until they are blended into one. Then mix the milk, vanilla and butter together in a separate bowl until the result is a single solid color. Pour that into the flour/sugar mix, and stir well. Lastly, add in the amount of butterscotch chips you want and stir, making sure that they don’t all end up in one part of the bowl. On a suitable over tray, spray or oil the tray well before placing tablespoon size globs of cookie dough down. (Or smaller if you want smaller cookies.) Put these in the oven for 15 minutes on 350 degrees Fahrenheit, checking every five minutes to see how they’re doing. You want a white-to-golden color as the end result.


As you set them aside to let them cool, you can push butterscotch chips into the surface of them if a particular few cookies didn’t have enough/only got a few chips. Push them in pointy end down. They will melt into the cookie and, upon cooling, be firmly stuck within. (If children are present, this is an excellent way to make smiley face cookies that they’ll adore.) For Halloween, consider adding black food dye to the dough, creating black cookies with orange chips – the perfect holiday treat.


For those among you who would like to lose weight, I recommend using I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter (Spray) instead of melted butter. It cuts down on calories dramatically. (It tastes better, too!) Low fat butterscotch chips are a bit costly, but for the record they taste the exact same way normal ones do, so it’s worth a try if you can find them.


Note: if you do not spray/oil/use wax paper/otherwise keep the cookies from sticking, the butterscotch chips in the cookie will stick to the tray and tear off the cookie immediately. Please try to avoid this, for the cookie’s sake.


Serve with cold milk or hot tea, and enjoy.
07 July 2009 @ 08:43 am

Well, it is Tuesday, otherwise known as activity day here on the Poemy blog.


Activities that are and are not lolita appropriate are dictated by common sense. You cannot do gymnastics or parkour in that many layers, but things like walking somewhere and having a meal are still easy. Certain things, I trust, will be blatantly bad ideas because they can damage your clothes. You could run around getting smashed so all your trendie friends will know how edgy you are, but it would destroy anything you had on. You could paint in lolita if you didn’t mind never wearing the garment in question ever again. You seem where I’m going with this.


Since you probably enjoy your clothes and having them around, logic dictates less stupid activities. At the same time, however, not every day need be spent in ballets, drinking tea in fancy shops and attending plays. Money, for most of us, simply won’t allow such a thing. So while there are many special occasions and things we would all like to do, the reality is that we must also enjoy simple things.


One of the oldest classics for ladies is walking in the park, especially now that it’s summer. With a parasol (or sunblock) in hand, enjoy the weather. There is nothing so calming as walking around dressed in lolita, the sun on your face and the breeze in your hair. The sky is blue, the grass is green and the happy sounds of people at play float through the air. Stop to smell the flowers you find along the way. Breathe in deep the fresh park air.


Don’t run. This is not a desperate jog to fit into your brand. This is a stroll to relax the body and the mind. Take an hour or two to spend exploring the park, looking closely at the trees and the flowers that exist. You’ll find that just walking can be very therapeutic. Why not take along a lunch to eat out in the sunshine? Sandwiches are the food of choice for such a day, although anything will do. Take your time chewing your food, people watch, and enjoy the season while it lasts. A lady should be able to bask in the simple joy of the day.


Back in earlier times, every woman had her own garden in which she could stroll and sit and eat and smile. Nowadays, of course, such a thing is much rarer. Still, we in the modern times can have the same thing. Dressed as ladies, mannerly as a lady, we can step back in time to simpler days when being outdoors without a care in the world was a privilege. The truth of the matter that it still is a privilege. Being able to spend your spare time relaxing is a luxury, one that should be cherished. So grab your parasol, get a picnic blanket and head outside.


You’ll thank me when the winter comes.
07 July 2009 @ 04:25 am

A lifestyle lolita is a lady.


She is not a trendie, an immature teen, an obnoxious e-cool obsessed 4-chan user or fake. Rather than be the common girl, rude and gossipy without a shred of dignity, a lifestyle lolita has stood up and decided to be what she wishes to be. This rubs many people the wrong way, as true individuality often does. The mass of identical, whining, gossiping lolitas mock and sneer at the lifestyle lolitas. But being ladies, we hardly notice, wave them aside and move on with out lives.


For you see, what separates a lady from a screaming child in a dress is dignity. A dignified person keeps things in perspective. For what do the opinions of random strangers on the internet really mean in the long run? Yes, they wear the same clothes as you, but they’ve hardly done anything worth noticing. Or at least, worth noticing in a positive light. The sheep like mass has done much to embarrass themselves. Oh well. Their loss. Not our business. We’re too busy living our lives.


A lifestyle lolita has shrugged off negativity, pettiness and the whiners of the world. In the place of that, we create our own world. In our world, life revolves around happiness and beauty. Some people say that isn’t sane, or isn’t right. Apparently happiness is a truly fearsome thing to the cynical mind. The truth of the matter is that those who seek happiness have more happiness. Being happy is healthy. Happier people have less heart problems, better blood pressure, and live longer lives. So why not be happy? Why not create one’s own world where things are beautiful and life is worth living? It doesn’t hurt anyone.


The only people seeking to hurt one another are the cynics. They snap at lifestyle lolitas, trying to bring them down. Unfortunately for those vultures, ladies are above such nonsense. At some point in time, we all reached the decision to become a dignified and beautiful lady. In this moment, we tossed aside the world and their opinions as being garbage, choosing to live for ourselves. The cynics don’t like that; the idea of individuals making a choice not their own angers them. But the beauty of being a lady is that you can shrug off their anger, because the hurtful things they say mean nothing. When you’re a lady, no one can hurt you anymore.


That is the definition of dignity, to be above the petty, squabbling world. A special kind of inner peace will come over a lady when she puts on a dress she cherishes and goes out to do something fun that she likes. For then, she is living for herself, not for anyone else. When this peace comes, no one can take the wind out of her sails. No one can reach the island she’s on, the world she’s in. In this peace she is happy, and can address those around her with love and kindness and manners. When this peace becomes habit, the manners instinct, and to smile the default expression, she has become truly dignified. In this moment, she is a lady, a princess, a queen.


Some cynics sneer that being a lifestyle lolita is fake. The truth is the classless always say those above them are fake; if they could never be that way, then no one else can. They say we’re repressing emotions because it’s been so long since they’ve been happy they can’t imagine what that’s like. The truth is that there is no happiness as genuine as that of a lady lolita. We take joy in everything around us, flowers, food, tea, our dresses, the sky, music – everything on Earth can be a source of joy. In that joy and peace, we rise above the angry and frustrated masses to become something more. That moreness is what defines this lifestyle, what makes us more genuine than any of our critics could ever hope to be.


Happiness leads to dignity, especially when you have the ability to draw happiness from everyday life. This makes you untouchable. When you know your worth as a princess, when you know things work out for the better, when you live for your happiness instead of for petty snark, you are dignified. When you use polite language instead of crude, teenage swear words, you are dignified. When one of the cynics attacks you online and you turn away, not even giving them a response, you are dignified. All of these actions make peace and refute conflict. Conflict is what unhappiness feeds on and comes from. By being happy, doing things you enjoy and being polite, you destroy conflict. You become dignified.


And thus, you become a lady.
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Current Music: Birds chirping outside