Today’s Friday, which means I get to talk to you about manners. Now, manners have always been something dear to the heart of lifestyle lolitas. Instead of being a normal teenage girl, giggling over every swearword like it makes us special, we’ve chosen to grow up and realize there is nothing inherently wrong with politeness. This point of view is something that has caused us much ridicule, yet is actually very practical. Yes, swearing every three seconds and using the f-bomb like a comma may earn you internet cool points, but just try finding a respectable job when you talk to everyone like that. Not so easy, is it?
Life becomes easier when you’re polite. People treat you better as a whole when you’re polite to them. When people mistreat you, being calm and polite means that the authorities will favor you over the other person. There is nothing more biting to your enemies than your sweet smile and polite hello, nothing more infuriating to your backstabbing best friend than to be treated nicely. People, online and offline, want to get a rise out of you in any given argument. By politely brushing people off, making an excuse to leave and leaving after a small bow or simply not rising to their bait, you become the better person.
One of the hardest things about being a lifestyle lolita is the sneering we endure. We keep to ourselves, don’t bother anyone and wear pretty dresses. Obviously, this makes us a threat to all lolitas everywhere, as we are highly dangerous people. (/sarcasm) Unfortunately, many girls act as if there is something wrong with being polite, drinking tea and wearing the same fashion they do. We don’t bother anyone. I’ve never seen anyone say lolitas have to be lifestyle, or say that lolitas have to be polite. There has never been, to my knowledge, any lifestyle lolita who ran around screaming that everyone adhere to all the standards and practices she did. Most of us wish more people were polite and leave it at that.
Some new girls may have gotten the impression all lolitas are nice. They ran around saying that. That is still no reason to hold it against lifestyle lolitas in general. Every group since time began has had an uninformed member or two and a loudmouth member or two (or three, or four). This does not make picking on that entire group alright. That doesn’t even make it okay to pick on the girls who mistakenly thought this. They’re just new. Not everyone has researching and comprehensive reading skills right off the bat. Have you never made a mistake? No? Then they get to make some, too.
Politeness is a personal choice. It is a right we all have and can freely choose to exercise. When you and I and everyone else decides to do the polite thing instead of the petty thing, the world becomes a better place. When we accept and teach the newbie instead of laughing at them, they get better. When we hold the door for someone whose arms are full, they get through the day a little easier. When we calmly and politely explain we’re not in a costume, but in a specific fashion, the ignorance against lolitas fades a little. No one is forcing you to do these things. You can laugh at the newbie, slam the door in the person’s face and slap the questioner. But what have you accomplished? With politeness you can say you did the right thing. With impoliteness you can only shrug and say ‘I did it, um, because I did’.
To be polite isn’t about repressing your emotions, as many seem to think. It’s about not being childish and having self control. The childish lolita screams ‘F*** you!’ at someone who says ‘nice costume’ to her. The lady or princess lolita says ‘thank you’ with a sweet smile. One rule on the Evil Overlord List says, ‘I shall wear bright colors, and thus throw my enemies into confusion’. Couple this with a smile and you become untouchable. No one can embarrass you when you have the self control to refrain from arguing. No one can hurt you when you politely acknowledge their criticism as valid and ignore their insults. No one can make you look bad when you take the high ground.
Taking the high ground is a mark of a strong character. Any gossipy girl can sneer snide remarks at someone she doesn’t like. It takes a woman to greet the person she dislikes with calm politeness. But this doesn’t even cover what will happen with those you don’t know. The strangers on the street smile at the lifestyle lolita, the young girl dressed beautifully who smiles and says hello. The store clerks and cashiers are relieved not to be dealing with another rage-a-holic customer. Old ladies and old men compliment the well mannered and well dressed. Your family and friends will be happy with the positive and polite outlook you have on life. A better character means a better you, which means one less crude person in the world. People react well to that because deep down, we all want to be treated right.
Why be polite? A better question would be, why not? An impolite person annoys and stresses out everyone they come into contact with. An impolite person gets into petty fights and is surrounded by drama. An impolite person is not a person, just a child. The polite receive kindness and goodwill for their actions. The impolite get exactly what they sent out – negativity. The choice is still yours, of course. You can be a cruel, cold, unlikable monster if you so desire. No one can force you to be a good person.
But it sure does make life easier.